


Conversations We Never Had

by OurLadyGrem



Series: Banana Fish ✧ Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura [4]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Drama, Animal Transformation, Boys In Love, Catboy AU, Catboys & Catgirls, Cute, Disaster Gays, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Feels, First Love, Fluff, Flustered Gays, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Ash Lynx, Pining Okumura Eiji, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Strangers to Lovers, Supernatural Elements, Transform, Unreliable Narrator, Wholesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OurLadyGrem/pseuds/OurLadyGrem
Summary: Eiji loves photography, and he also loves cats… but what he loves the most is his high school crush, Aslan Callenreese. After sharing an entire school year in the same class, Eiji regrets never having spoken to him, especially now they’ve graduated and separated to different universities. Now all he does is dream about Ash, and confide in a stray cat that he calls Lynx…What he doesn’t know is that Eiji and Ash’s university departments are set to merge together, and Eiji is given a second chance at starting a relationship with him.But Ash has a secret. The stray cat that Eiji has adopted… is actually Ash. And he’s been watching Eiji right from the start.Catboy Ash AU. This is an insanely soft/fluffy/wholesome supernatural alternate universe where Ash and Eiji go to the same university… and also Ash is half-cat half-human.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Series: Banana Fish ✧ Ash Lynx/Eiji Okumura [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1360351
Comments: 13
Kudos: 60





	Conversations We Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> In this work, Ash and Eiji are the same age and attend university together at 18 years old. I've been wanting to write about Catboy Ash for a few weeks now, so here we go! Also, I think my British-isms can be forgiven in this work since the setting is vaguely between America and Japan, because at no point will the location be relevant to the plot. I hope you enjoy this work, and if you like it, I hope you'll stick around for more updates! Leave me a comment to let me know what you think, or just throw a kudos my way! Thanks in advance, and stay safe~!

A gentle breeze blows warm air past Eiji’s bedroom curtain. The early morning sun streams in through the open window, and steadily works its way towards his bed as the run rises. It eradicates the darkness of the night, that once had been shielding Eiji’s photography portfolio strewn across the room.

There are photos of vast landscapes, architecture, people… anything that caught Eiji’s attention encapsulated into a single frame… laying in piles across the carpet, propped up on canvas against the walls, and hung up by clips on a string. His ground floor apartment is small - affordable - and his bedroom appears cramped with so much of his project taking up space. Only his bed, a bookcase, and a desk with a computer and even more remnants of his photography on the surface. Even his walls are busy with posters, a few corkboards with collages of photos, and individual prints stuck around each other, reminiscent of the walls in live music venues. Nothing consisted of a theme, they’re just what Eiji found alluring to his eye, like snippets of his personality split into images.

Eiji sleeps with the edge of the sunlight dipping beneath his chin. He stirs and sighs, turning over on to his back. His shirt snags beneath the blanket, exposing the flesh of his neck to an onslaught of invading warmth.

Then, his sleep is disturbed by the feeling of a weight slowing easing down on the mattress. The bottom of his bed slopes down, nearby his feet. Rousing from sleep, Eiji gradually opens an eye. Though his vision is still blurred, he manages to make out the figure of a man, bathing in the blinding light of morning. Only the silhouette reveals the masculine outlines of his torso at first, as the light slowly lifts to reveal more of the details: blonde hair - shoulder length. Wide shoulders and collarbones. An athletic body - showcasing his well-toned chest, the ladder of his abdominal muscles, and accentuated pelvis bones resting above his jeans. Thin lips - curved slightly into a smile. Intensely sharp eyes - emerald, sparkling in the dark, and shaped almost cat-like.

Eiji recognises him then. As he lifts himself up, propping his arms up behind him, Eiji whispers,

“...Ash?”

Now his vision clears. With the sunlight pouring over his entire figure, Eiji can see Aslan Callenreese - better known by his nickname, Ash. He sits at the end of Eiji’s bed, wearing nothing but a pair of faded jeans.

The image of him is breath-taking. The sunlight compliments his skin perfectly. His thick golden hair seems as though it glows from reflecting such light. His arm - stretched out to lean against the mattress - accentuates the lean muscle he’s blessed with. His expression, as intimidating as he appears to be, holds an inviting sense of intrigue. As if in anticipation.

In disbelief, Eiji reaches out his hand. His fingers stretch, slowly lifting strands of gold hair from Ash’s face, and gently touches his fingertips against Ash’s cheek.

Then Ash smiles widens, responding in kind to the feeling of Eiji’s thumb cascading against his skin. Ash closes his eyes, takes his hand, and holds it to his cheek. He holds it preciously, and moves to bury his face deeper into the cup of Eiji’s palm. Rubbing into him. Smiling affectionately. As though it was Heaven.

“Ash…” Eiji calls out to him, though his voice sounds far away.

Then Ash opens his eyes. A cheeky glimmer swims in his orbs. And he whispers back to gently say,

“Stupid.”

* * *

Eiji stirs and moans in his sleep, while sweat builds profusely around his temples. When he finally manages to open his eyes, he springs awake with a gasp. He’s startled to find himself sitting up in bed once again, and his eyes dart around the room in confusion. It feels as though he’s replayed the same moment over again, except the obvious difference is that now he’s completely alone.

As he comes to realise this reality, Eiji sighs, and a fierce heat pools in his cheeks. Falling back against the pillows, Eiji throws his hands over his eyes, overcome with embarrassment and disappointment.

“Ugh… that dream again, huh?”

He stares up at the ceiling, revelling in his emotion, before his mind begins to drift. But he’s interrupted by the movement of a tiny creature hidden beneath the blankets. Only when a tail pokes out from the edge of the bed does it make itself known.

“Meow~”

“Hm?” Eiji blinks, confused at the sound. Then, the twitch of a tall pair of ears moves against the blankets, and the shake of a tiny head emerges into the open. Eiji’s eyes light up. “Oh, Lynx! It’s you! Came in through the window again, huh?”

As soon as Eiji addresses him, the cat that had buried himself beneath the blanket slowly appears and creeps on to the bed. He stretches out, as though he’d just awakened from a long and relaxing sleep, proudly brandishing the full array of beautiful golden fur all the way down to the tip of his tail. His chest appears lighter than the rest of his coat - like a platinum blonde - as though the body of his fur had darkened from a tan into a shaded tint. The platinum travels all the way to his chin, where his fur splays out like a lion’s mane. While the tips of his ears are burnt with a dark shade of umber, which bear similarities to a lynx. Hence why Eiji named him such.

He looks up at the window and looks back at Lynx. Then he shrugs his shoulders, feigning annoyance.

“You just come and go as you please, don’t you? Expecting to be fed every single time. You little rascal.”

“Meow, meow,” Lynx replies, over and over again.

“Alright, alright. Be patient, let me get up first…”

He stretches as well, lifting his arms up and yawning in unison. Then, swivelling to the edge of bed, he shifts his weight to his feet and slowly steps to the desk. Leaning underneath, he grabs a cat bowl and a large packet of dry food that he keeps stored under there. He takes off the clip from the top of the packet, and immediately, he’s hit with the stench that was trapped inside. It’s this stench that prompts Lynx to jump down from the bed, and circle excitedly at Eiji’s feet.

Eiji has to manoeuvre around him to set the cat bowl down in a clear area near his bed, while also trying to avoid stepping on any photos lying around. Somehow Lynx is able to do the same, as though his little paws are trained to only step on the carpet. The second that bowl hits the floor, Lynx digs in.

Eiji watches him for a while, and grins to see Lynx eating well as usual. Being such a cat-lover, Eiji finds such an immense release from stress just by watching and observing him. He’s just as happy to feed and care for him too. But as Eiji relaxes, and his mind falls into a drift once more… Ash’s face reappears in his thoughts again.

He remembers exactly how Ash looked in the dream he had. It was still so fresh in his memories… especially the look in his intense eyes as Eiji stroked his cheek. It all felt so real. The sensation could still be felt on his fingertips. He remembers how Ash had intertwined their fingers, and held Eiji close as he nuzzled into his palm. He remembers how the edge of Ash’s lips pressed up to his wrist… so close, he could’ve kissed him.

“I can’t stop thinking about it…” Eiji murmurs to himself.

He realises it now: this dream about Ash is getting more and more frequent.

At first, he’d only dream of Ash a few times. But now, since they’ve graduated, Eiji dreams about him much more often. He puts it down to the knowledge that he won’t be able to see Ash again, since they’re heading off to different universities. It was to be expected, since they’re going off to pursue different career goals. It almost seems to be like withdrawal symptoms - where his dreams are making up for seeing Ash less.

Eiji buries his head in his hands as he also has to acknowledge the somewhat erotic image of Ash in his dreams. He always comes in wearing next to nothing, and they exchange short but intimate moments every single time. Eiji’s fiery blush climbs to the tips of his ears. His subconscious is powerfully honest, if not direct.

When Lynx finishes up the last of the dry food, until there’s only a few crumbs left, Eiji heads to the front door to let the cat out. Lynx pushes through Eiji’s legs, with the stroke of his tail lingering against his ankle for a brief moment, before heading down the narrow pathway within the condensed neighbourhood.

“See you later, Lynx,” Eiji says, watching him potter away.

Eiji isn’t sure if the cat is owned by anyone or not, since there’s a lack of a collar or anything indicating otherwise. He just met the cat among a group of other stray cats that he used to feed on the way back from school. Since he became aware of a few spots on his route home where some cats would gather, it became a small hobby for Eiji to buy dry food and carry some around for occasions where he could feed them.

He looks back on the days where he first started noticing Lynx. The pathways between school and home were narrow enough to barely have any traffic through, so Eiji could sit beneath the cherry-blossom trees and watch the cats eat what he brings them. Lynx would show more and more frequently as Eiji kept up this hobby, until eventually… Eiji found him waiting outside Eiji’s front door, with his tail flipping back and forth in anticipation. It wasn't until graduation that Lynx found Eiji's bedroom window open, since the warm nights rolled in, and Lynx would climb inside to wait directly for Eiji to feed him. Not that he minded, but Eiji got the feeling that Lynx hunted directly for the food source.

But then, as Eiji sinks back to his bed, and his thoughts drift further and further… he remembers exactly why he fondly thinks back on those times in school.

There was a certain warm day, where Eiji had stopped once again in one of those narrow pathways. Surrounded by small homes, guarded by high stone walls, and cherry blossom trees scattered in each garden. The dirt path, though narrow in width, lined up with sewer gratings and tall telephone poles, reminiscent to a Japanese-style residential area. The bottom edges of these stone fencings are where fallen cherry blossoms had bunched up when they fell to the ground, as though they’d purposely keep the paths clear. And blossom petals float in the wind, mixing in with the small group of stray cats gathered at Eiji’s feet. He remembered petting their fur, stroking them as they ate what he’d scatter to the ground… all until their attention suddenly diverted elsewhere.

One by one, each cat walked away, heading down the dirt path to the right.

“Hey, where are you all going?” Eiji asked in surprise, as he slowly rose to his feet.

That’s when he saw him.

As the cats plopped to the ground, rubbing themselves up against the shins of a man. The stranger leant forward, carefully picked up a black cat, and cradled it in his muscled arms.

Eiji stared. His jaw loose, as his mouth hung agape.

In the same school uniform, Eiji saw Ash for the first time. In black trousers that elongated his height, and a white school shirt where he rolled up the sleeves to his elbows. The tie around his neck was loosened, revealing the unbuttoned collar to show the slope of his neck. And his shoulder length hair, as bright as the sun. And his intense eyes, full of intrigue… piercing in his gaze.

Eiji couldn’t stop staring as the blossom petals danced all around him. He couldn’t stop staring as their eyes met, and acknowledged each other’s existence for the very first time. Eiji couldn’t stop staring as he felt an unfamiliar heat build up from the very depths of him, making his heartbeat rush and filling up his face with the first of many blushes he’d yet to have.

Eiji remembered the very next day, he saw Ash again. This time, it was in school. During their final year, they’d been assigned to the same class. Ash always took the window seat, next to all the friends who were assigned with him. And under the tall classroom windowpanes, Ash would be in Eiji’s line of sight - always to his left, bathed in the daytime sun as if it followed him wherever it went. Similar to his dreams now.

Eiji remembered a lot of Ash from sharing class together. He remembered how pretty he was. While sitting at his desk, with his knees far apart, he’d lean against his fist with his elbow against the desk, and he’d gaze wistfully outside. His wrist was beautiful, made apparent every time he’d flick stray hairs from his face. His face was attractive, youthful but masculine. He was smart, too. His grades would attest to that. And his personality was cool, but unrelenting. Whenever he had to face up to any bullies, it was scary how even-tempered he’d always be while delivering the most scathing insults. He made it look like nothing could bother him.

Most importantly, Ash was very good at sports. Eiji remembered many days of watching him from the bleachers as he played basketball on the courts, and football on the fields.

“Ash is so incredible!”

“Right?”

“Is there anything he can’t do?”

“He’s just so cool.”

And, of course, he was popular. Eiji would overhear every compliment under the sun from the girls he’d sit with on the edge of the fields. They’d look at him in awe, completely enamoured by his range of many talents. Guys and girls flocked to him, and Eiji completely understood why. He was a rare breed: good-looking, talented, and smart. He’s a top-tier guy. He just never seemed to revel in the attention. In conversation, Ash seemed short of words, as though he’d rather listen to people over being the one to speak. It never deterred people away from him though. He was simply magnetic in every other aspect.

Eiji was exactly the same as all the people who used to surround him. Except he never worked up the courage to introduce himself. Eiji wanted to talk to him, at least once. He remembered once, while watching him on the fields after a game, the football team would come right up to Ash and shower him with praise. And, as if to ignore them all for a moment, Ash looked to the side and caught Eiji’s longing gaze. Since they locked eyes, Eiji suddenly thought this might be the right time to approach him… but the crowd all around them was too much. With so many people surrounding Ash, the pressure surmounted everything. Eiji would take a step back and hesitant. That second of hesitation would be enough to deter him away then.

And it would continue that way every time. Eiji would come up with excuses that Ash would be too busy, or his friends would be more important. It got to the point where Eiji doubted that Ash even knew his name.

Instead, Eiji would continue to watch Ash from afar… and immerse himself in fictional scenarios in his mind where he could finally walk up and talk to him. Though, thoughts of anything more than that may creep in occasionally… thoughts of wanting to touch him… but Eiji immediately swatted them away before giving himself the chance to entertain any ideas. Such thoughts made him feel incredible guilt, especially since he figured Ash didn’t even know his name.

But he couldn’t deny such strong feelings he held for Ash. That day when he first saw him… standing amongst the group of stray cats, looking straight into Eiji’s eyes with that intense gaze of his… such a rush of pure adrenaline that ran through Eiji’s blood at that moment could only be described as ‘love at first sight’.

As far-fetched as it sounds, Eiji could only justify such feelings by trusting his gut instinct that tells him that, yes, this has to be love. No other monumental or powerful feeling could be described as anything else when he felt it strike right to the core of him. No other universal explanation, which he spent many nights mulling over time and time again, came closer to the truth than - in its purest form - Eiji’s first love.

Unfortunately, that only complicated Eiji’s feelings with wanting to approach Ash. He kept waiting for the ‘right’ moment. But all he ended up doing was waiting for a moment that never came, and settled for watching him from a distance. In this time observing him, Eiji noticed little things about Ash, like how he’d keep quirky toys on his desk that made a noise whenever he fidgeted with them. He noticed how Ash would nudge something off the desk, completely on purpose, and watched the look of surprise on people’s faces as if he got a kick out of it.

He also noticed how Ash hates the rain.

Eiji realised this on one particular day, where the clouds had swept over the sky and poured buckets over the school. Eiji remembered how he lingered at the school doors, waiting a while for the rain let up, before venturing home as dry as possible. But while he waited, he was suddenly joined by Ash, who had appeared right beside him… looking up at the sky with an expression of pure disdain. It was unlike anything Eiji had seen before. For someone as cool-headed and seemingly collected as Ash, it was a complete surprise to Eiji to see Ash so visibly disgusted by the sight of something. And for his weakness to be something as trivial as rain… Eiji would never have guessed.

Eiji remembers all of this, and likens all these traits to his kitty visitor: Lynx. Though he laughs at himself for comparing Ash with a cat.

Most of all, Eiji remembers that rainy day… because it was the closest he ever got to approaching Ash.

He remembers standing on one side of the school steps while Ash stood on the other, though the distance was close enough to make small talk. Eiji stared down at his shoes, clenching his hands together to distract himself from his racing heartbeat. He remembered how he’d count the seconds that would pass by, as the rain grew heavier and the sound of it created an atmosphere. Eiji remembered having to mentally talk himself into it, building up a motivational monologue in his head to push himself forward,

‘C’mon Eiji… this is the perfect time… do it now, before he leaves… just say ‘hi’ and make a little conversation… ‘this rain sucks’, or something… say anything at all, just talk to him… now--’

Eiji remembers how he finally lifted his gaze from the ground, turning towards Ash with his mouth open - ready to speak - only to back down immediately when one of Ash’s friends suddenly appeared from through the school doors. They offered Ash to share an umbrella on the way home, and he took it. Then off they went… down the steps and through the misty curtain of heavy rain, before disappearing out of sight.

Eiji turns over in his bed and buries his head deeper into the pillows. Feeling remorse over letting such a moment go to waste.

He begins to realise that he’s thinking about Ash so much now because he misses him. Even if all Eiji did was watch him, at least he had that. Now he’s unable to see him at all. Left with only memories of short glances and distant stares. It was a pathetic first love, and Eiji despairs. He doesn’t know how long he’ll heal from this. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do now that Ash’s presence still haunts him. Only the future knows…

* * *

It’s evening when Eiji opens the front door to let out Lynx again. Once he’s had his fill of dinner, Eiji routinely sees him out and calls after him,

“See you later, Lynx!”

As soon as the door closes, Lynx looks back. His eyes linger there for a few seconds, making sure that Eiji isn’t coming out again. Then, after confirming that Eiji has settled inside, Lynx treads down the dirt path, and rounds the corner of a dark alleyway where it’s even narrower than the paths. It’s shaded from the sunlight, and quiet as there’s not a soul to be seen. Then, after finally checking that the coast is definitely clear… he concludes that this is the spot.

Lynx rounds the corner again… this time, into the fully transformed figure of Aslan Callenreese.

Ash looks up at the sky, and the cat-like iris in his eyes return to normal.


End file.
